Fly away my spotted butterfly

Fly away my spotted butterfly
Fly away into the velvet blue sky
Follow the musing of your heart
Fly away into fate's overwhelming embrace.

As I sit on the bank of this stream
And listen to the silence of the water
I envy your joyous freedom
I long to be carefree and cheery again.

To caress the reeds with my fingers
To tie my hair in pretty braids
And saunter into the wilderness
To be young, free and without a care in the world.

How I wish I could go back in time
And change destiny’s tale
How I wish I could wipe away every pain
And start on a clean slate again.

Fly away my friend, my muse, my comrade
Fly into the green fields stretching over miles
Follow the wind diligently
Where your dreams dare take you.

In the looking glass, I can see my family back home
Laughing, smiling and ever so comforting
It seems only like yesterday
When I set out to win and to conquer.

But an eternity has passed since
And I am still waiting for the laurels
I have watched the sands of time slip away
And only gathered dust and debris in my lap.

The thunder rolls faintly in the distance
But it hardly bothers me
My soul is ransacked and destroyed
And searches for a soothing balm.

But it feels like looking for a needle in a haystack
The journey has been tedious and wrecked with tests
The frontier between good and evil blurred
And I have endured where I was meant to embrace.

Fly away into the grand horizon
Be bold, be brave, be yourself
Fly away my angel, fly into the unknown
Into the sunshine, into the light, into the Lord’s realm.

A leaf gently swishes into the air
And lands on my cold, cold, hand
Reality hits me like a ton of bricks
Lurking at every corner, it finds an excuse to resurface.

But what if that same reality
Could be altered at my own will
What if sweetness and goodness
Were to come into my life once again?

What if I smiled more?
What if I simply lived more?
What if I took each day as a blessing?
What if I broke into song and cheer?

The grave branches nod in silent agreement
Nothing is lost until the final hour
The more things lack rhyme or reason
The less we understand the Lord’s will.

The greater is this adventure
The more we despair and disappoint
There are chances that hope is just round the corner.
That each wound carries secret healing powers.

I know not where the road will take me
I know not whether tomorrow will ever come
Whether it will be sunshine or rain
Nothing lasts forever, everything fades.

Let me fly away with you my spotted friend
Now is our chance to taste the first pellet of rain
To dance with the pixies and laugh in delight
To forget the world for once and live the dream.

An Ode to London

I love you London
You are my second home
I like your fragrance and your song
I like your murmur and your passion.

The wintry breeze caresses my cheek
As I stuff my cold hands in my pockets
Light snow swirls into a pattern
And drops of water settle on my nose.

I don't care about the cold
I don't care about the hectic schedule
I just love being part of you
I just love to wallow on your embrace.

You chased away my insecurities
And gave me new-found strength
When my spirits were low
You gave me Phoenix wings to fly at my desire.

Now I am a strong, independent woman
Now I am not scared of destiny
Life is pretty much a theatre of dreams
And I love playing the role you've assigned me.

London, you are a cradle of civilisation
A melting-pot of countless cultures
City of mystery, city of opportunities
You never sleep, you never retire into slumber.

City of love, city of adventure
You are the heart and soul of freedom
You are brimming with pride and love
As the seasons fill your bosom with magical spells.

At dawn, you are wide awake
And accompany Londoners in their stride
At dusk, you still bubble with frenzy
And then settle into a quiet evening.

You are effervescent and buoyant
Always looking for a chance to grow
Always welcoming lost souls
And fulfilling errant dreams.

You have bore testimony to so many success stories
Even today, you have sworn to join hands with fate
And bless your dwellers with fulfillment
And watch them reach for the stars.

I bow to your grandeur, city of dreams
I salute your resilience through the tests of history
City of glamour, city of fashion
You will never fade, nor wither, nor die.

She had long closed her doors to love and companionship,
Hidden the scars of an ancient battle,
Murmured half-sung lullabies to the wind,
Stifled the last wisps of talent in her bosom,
Fought with all her mighty strength,
Watched helplessly as the sands of time trickled away,
Danced in the shadows of moonlight,
Grasped the strands of fleeting destiny,
Lead the ocean into a chaotic trance
Crushed faith's angels in the palm of her hand,
Clutched the cloak of decrepitude in silent agony,
Breached the secret pact,
Convened a midnight tryst in the middle of a graveyard,
Rummaged crazily into the alleys of a mysterious past,
Ransacked each and every memory which dared resurface,
Hated her pitiful self to near loathing,
Loved until it bordered insanity,
Painted a canvas streaked in blood,
Played hide-and-seek with her alter ego,
Diverted the pangs of envy with vociferous anger.

Such dangerous games she played
Such sordid dreams she nurtured
Such passions she hid in her veil
Such madness she concealed in her lap.

But they only remember the bad things
Only one side of the story had been recorded
They curse her shadow and chased her away with stones
They have no recollection of what she used to be
They cannot even trust themselves to go back in time
She is Evil, she fell from Grace, and she is not Human
Hush, don’t let us be fooled by legends…
How can she have been an Empress, a Queen, a Goddess even?

She used to be a beautiful child, a prim lady and a gorgeous woman.
She used to be a sister, a friend and a lover.
Do you recall her contagious laughter ringing in the valleys?
Do you recall her buoyancy rippling into euphoria?
Do you recall her energy, her wisdom and her boundless love?

I do.

She had been long accustomed to basking in the Lord’s glory
Smiled a thousand smiles and grinned a million grins
Tied her shiny hair into a playful ponytail
Caressed the frivolous reeds watching over the river bank
Felt the first beam of sunlight on her burning skin
Tasted the pellets of rain in summer’s afternoon heat
Worn her cheerfulness like a prized possession
Revelled in the majesty of sunrise
Somersaulted in the quiet reverence of sunset
Smelled the newly blossomed roses in mid-Spring
Pranced around Summer’s ever-wakeful fits of delight
Exchanged Autumn’s threat with spoonfuls of positivity
Calmed down Winter’s arrogance with a shower of flamboyant rainbows
Wallowed in destiny’s grander plans
Tiptoed good-naturedly into fate’s overwhelming embrace
Respected the elders and dutifully bowed down to tradition
Acculturated her People to Music, Art and Poetry
Protected the yield from annihilation by her sole fragrance and abundance
Recycled faith at the altar of Love
Vanquished hatred from each and every heart
Renewed the fire of Communion and sung the anthem of Renewal.

I remember her now, in all her Glory and Magnificence
She was a Mother to me
And I found solace in her arms
Today, you may have shun her
But she does not need your alms
She will always shine in all her Splendour
She is the Light Within and Without.

++I've been uninspired for a good while now. This is my attempt at breaking the torpor-filled cycle. I hope you like this piece, although it's very mushy and a tad too 'Manichean'.++

Krishnee Appadoo © 24.02.10

J’écris, j’écris encore, et j’écris toujours...

Je pensais que ma vie était une étincelle
Mais n'est-ce pas vraiment une épave?
Jonchée de débris, saccagée par le temps
Une épave qui s'enfonce silencieusement dans l'océan.

Il n'y a plus de place pour l'amertume
Sans broncher, je guette l'avenir qui se défile au loin
Sans défenses, ni secours
Les vagues s'écrasant contre mon ego.

Il était une fois, tout me souriait
Il était une fois, l'or des cieux était a ma portée
Il était une fois, je bricolais joyeusement avec le bonheur
Il était une fois, oh, il était une fois...

Ne dit-on pas que le bonheur est éphémère ?
Ne sommes-nous pas des âmes passagères ?
Ne dit-on pas que toute histoire a une fin ?
Ne sommes-nous pas des naufragés du destin ?

J’écris, j’écris encore, et j’écris toujours
Je n’ai que du papier et un peu d’encre
Et moi qui croyais qu’il me restait encore un épilogue
Qui pouvait se douter d’une fin si tragique ?

Combien de fois peut-on mourir ?
La mort a-t-elle d’innombrables vies ?
A chaque fois que la marée monte
Une partie de moi se vide de tout.

Baisser les bras quand on est si près du but
Perdre la guerre après avoir gagné les batailles
Etre juger avant que l’on ne puisse agir
Se cogner contre la défaite alors que l’on côtoyait la cour des grands.

Quand la tempête battait son plein
La seule chose qui a sauvé mon bateau
Fut la nouvelle lune ; seule, dénudée, vierge
Dans un ciel ravagé par les caprices des dieux.

Cette lune encore si fragile, si pâle
Guida le vaisseau de l’ultime pénombre
Ecrasant sur son passage larmes et regrets
Transformant le grain d’espoir en un bouquet d’énergie.

C’est faux de dire qu’après la pluie, le beau temps
Les signes du bonheur sont les mêmes
Les équations et les règles ne changent jamais
Il suffit seulement de se plonger dans l’aventure…

L’horizon semble se fondre dans un profond gouffre
Le capitaine du navire a beau chercher
Mais souvent les vagues déferlent d’une colère ravageuse
Alors la meilleure voie est celle que l’on n’avait même pas imaginée.

Au passage, on apprend que les trajectoires peuvent changer
L’issue qu’on a avidement recherchée se dessine au fil du temps
Tout arrive à point à qui sait attendre
Au plus profond de chaque individu se cache un être unique.

Souvent on abandonne ses rêves d’adolescents
A force de grandir et de souffrir, on oublie
De goûter aux simples plaisirs de la vie
De se laisser cajoler par nos envies.

Mais rien n’est perdu d’avance
Il suffit de garder la tête haute
De suivre l’hymne de notre cœur
Tout on conservant une foi indomptable.

Les leçons de la vie sont utiles
Les multitudes de sentiers empruntés
Conduisent à la même destination
Celle dont on avait toujours rêvée…

Krishnee Appadoo © 25.07.10

Ile-Magie, île-Chérie, île-Amie

Il existe un coin au monde
Un petit bout de paradis
Ou aucun orage ne gronde
Ou le Bonheur n'est jamais ramolli.

Une île perdue au milieu d'un océan
Précieusement gardée par les sirènes
Là où le soleil chasse les fainéants
Là où toute aventure est une aubaine.

Le mouvement léthargique d'une chenille
La première pluie hivernale qui rafraîchit
Une rosée qui scintille et qui pétille
Une fleur majestueuse qui fleurit.

Nature en symbiose et rêves qui jaillissent
Expressions qui s'expriment sans gêne
Mille lumières qui éblouissent
Innombrables souvenirs qui se déchaînent.

Mon pays, mon berceau à moi
Pays de mille saveurs
Pays où les sensations sont en émoi
Pays où l'on chante toujours en chœur.

Ma mère patrie, la gardienne de mon âme
Une douce maman, un père protecteur
La clé de ma joie, celle qui efface toutes mes drames
Un pays qui m'a nourri et qui m'a grandi sans rigueur.

L'île de mon enfance, l'ile qui a dorloté mes ambitions
Ile de mon adolescence, île qui a noyé mes déboires
Ile de tendresse, île qui me connait comme un miroir
Ile qui se conjugue au naturel, île-fougue, île-révélation.

Ile-Magie, île-Chérie, île-Amie
Je te serai toujours reconnaissante
Car, c'est  grâce à ta bénédiction,
Que j'ai gravi avec succès les échelons.

Même si je suis blottie dans mon lit
Dans un pays froid et lointain
Tourmentée par l'urbanisme désinvolte et ses bruits
Chaque jour, je suis réconfortée par tes élans bénins.

Ma petite ile, mon pays a moi,
Sans toi, je serai une orpheline
Sans toi, ma vie ne sera jamais un fleuve tranquille
Et indomptable sera ma foi en toi !

 Krishnee Appadoo © 14.08.10

Bitter-sweet Rapture

Enamoured by the love story which life had painted

Caressed by rapturous music and an ethereal moon

Wondering how she had been granted this boon

All those years she had hopelessly waited

Amidst the querulous garrison of pixies

Revelling in childhood-coated dreams

Drowning in pastel-coloured memories

Blessed by that lucky star's pristine beams

Reminiscing about an ancient, broken past

One minute past midnight, will the magic last?

She heaves a painful sigh, she cries a silent tear

Rummages through the box of hapless fears

Finding only rags of distress, and spells of happiness

Should she hold on to time, lest it starts those sordid games?

Should she reinvent herself, climb down the ladders of pain?

She swam the last lap into oblivion

Gazed into his chocolate eyes, held his warm hands

Loved till she had emptied her soul into his heart

Sold herself to romance, played the flute with Cupid

And now that canvas fades into nothingness

Ravaged by Destiny's wear and tear

She was running away from Truth's cold stare

At her heels, followed Death's dark and ugly minions

One minute she was flashing a dimpled smile

And the next, she had crashed into Fate's overwhelming currents

Laughter died on her lips, the sun's rays dared not accost her

Rainbows had created havoc in her velvet blue sky

But now they shy away from her shadows, anxious for a quick exit.

Shadows of a despicable nature

Matured into a full-blown tempest

The angry torrent of monsoon rains destroyed the harvest

She had hoped for an ounce of sympathy

But she was met with Revenge's compassionless dagger

It pierced into her aching heart

Drawing out a crimson shade of red

Death, her old friend was welcoming her into an afterlife

But she had died a thousand deaths,

Been on the brink of suicide and tampered with the Lord's plans

Skipped across the boundaries erected by the wise sages

Built her cottage amidst the green and lush pastures

She was a blooming flower, the early morning dew

Aching for a glimpse of sunrise and waiting for a Miracle to unfold.

The butterflies were her sole friends

They danced and pranced around

Catching a whiff of her embalmed perfume

She smelled of vanilla, cinnamon and daffodils

The roses envied her perfect beauty

Her dark locks cascaded into an endless wave of joy

The mirrors were all fond of her

Finally they had found their Goddess, their Queen, and their Empress

She was destined for great things; the world was at her feet

If only she had followed her Light

Dared to light a lamp at the altar of Love

But when the time came for her to fly into the spotless horizon

She sheared her wings and broke her promises with the Angels

The veil hid her tear-streaked face

That face which once sparkled, shimmered, glittered

Life, once a great adventure, a friend, a companion

Had transformed into a burlesque nightmare

Her bedside light dimmed into an eerie, dreamless torpor

While a thousand splendid suns fell into her lap

She cursed the still stream which was murmuring lullabies of yesteryears.

Riots of colours into an open sky

The setting sun bursting forth vermillion and orange hues

Eternity brushed past by, Happiness strolled nonchalantly by

The doors to Freedom were locked forever, so were the doors to his heart

Where Faith was secretly mingled with fresh blessings

Where the once simmering effervescence had all but drooped and withered

There she had planted the last rose, that blood-red rose, that sacrilegious flower

Bouquets and brickbats alike

Tears and sunshine alike,

Depression and laughter alike,

She had witnessed life's outbursts of emotions

On the endless shores of a lonely ocean

She had bathed in the magical moonlight

Plunged face down into the abysmal reality

Only to discover that it was all but a charade

This bank and shoal of life had deceived her into believing in fairy-tales

In love's perpetuity she had blindly trusted

While the infinitesimal droplets of rain started her waking dream

Gone were the signs of early spring

Carrying in their wake Abundance, dappled delights and Enlightenment

She had dreamed euphoric happenings

But her hopes had been mercilessly dashed, unequivocally crushed to dust

That which she had jealously held in her bosom

That which she had nurtured like a new born babe

Had turned to be a poisonous dagger, a sword so treacherous

It could pierce into one's heart both ways.

She utters a final word

Crouching low among the reeds

A poor maiden among the dried weeds

The words of utter despondency, of utter failure

Half-hearted goodbyes she bid to life,

They resounded across the plains, empty and hollow

A bright star she was, but the light had gone from her soul

Stifled and extinguished by life's brouhaha

Where the angels had chose to cajole her

She had refused to be nursed by their soothing balm

Instead wallowing in self-pity

Preferring the pangs of loneliness to their reassuring embrace

Love had ransacked her; love had robbed her of Self-Esteem

Today, of all days, she was waiting for Redemption

The latter, dressed in black garbs, did not offer its sympathy

Belligerently, the petals tried to chase away the demons

But they had taken control of the reigns much too soon,

It was only a matter of seconds before the maiden breathed her last

The rosary slipped from her outstretched fingers, her eyes lost their shine

Death had outshone her prayers beseeching for Immortality

Life, after all, had not been a heaven but a journey of thorns and brambles

She had skipped over the winding paths, she had drank from the goblet of existence

But love had killed her; her Lover had left her destitute

It had killed her stealthily, slowly and without warning

She would have been better off without Passion's attire

Now, her Soul has been destroyed beyond repair

It watches forlornly from the cotton-soft skies,

If only she could love again, if only she could turn back the wheels of time

If only she could be human again,

And taste the nectar of life in her Lover's arms

Death, release her from your clutches

Can't you cast off your pitiless cloak for once?

Can't you strike a deal with your arch rival, Life?

Life will give her a second chance, she will love again

Where she had been afraid to love to her heart's content

She will now bask in the glory of Romance

She will be whole again, broken she was,

But mended she will be...

Krishnee © 16.08.10