Light

LIGHT

I open one eye...The sun’s fugitive ray of light steals into the dark, annihilating hell which is my room...Light...Light equals life; light equals hope; light equals happiness; light equals dawn...I hate light and so I hate its synonyms: hope, happiness and dawn. When I think about the word light, I feel like I want to cover myself up with a black cloack and hide from the surface of the earth. Find myself a place where light cannot reach me, where its stare and spells cannot touch my skin.

I open another eye and search for something in the semi-darkness. There’s light outside, so it must be early morning, or maybe late morning? Or midday? How do I care? It’s been a while since I have risen from bed, shaken myself out of my lethargic state and wandered outside. The outside world scares me, leaves me frightened out of my wits, gives me goosebumps as I even think about the strangers living in this big town. But who is a stranger here? I am the stranger, I came here to start a new life, I was not unwelcome nor was I welcome, but somehow I am an alien on earth, I am a misfit and I do not ft into society; I never did.

HAPPINESS

I shall start with happier times, times when the world would smile at me, welcoming me with outstretched hands and beckoning me into a phantasmagoria of opportunities and buoyancy. Life then was a mixture of happiness, excitement and harmless fun. Expectations would crystallise out of nowhere and sparkle with all its attire and fragance and my eyes would stare in mock wonder and amusement at the excess of joy God was spreading in my lap. Happy-go-lucky, bubbly, effervescent, radically different from the rest of the crowd, I was a pastel of all the shades that you could pick from the colours of the rainbow, I was more than a mystery, a pearl of non-fiction coupled with a zest of spiritedness. My rage to live life like a tornado urged to crash with all its force, like a whirpool bursting foam into the torpor of the earth, like an earthquake pushed to its limits...used to stun my entourage, sometimes making them shake thieir heads in disbelief, at other times, staring at my antics in utter shock, and trying to fathom what on earth I was made of...And all I coudl do was laugh at them...Nothing could stop me from tasting the fruit of life, the forbidden apple was withing my grip and I would climb every mountain, cross every ocean and pass every hurdle just to satisfy my hunger for adventure, quench my thirst for passion and discove the grandeur of dear old existence...


DREAMS

What are dreams made of? Reality coupled with bits and pieces of the past and the future. Dreams are nourishment for the soul, reinvigorating the hopeless, raising the lifeless from their slumber and driving the adventurous along the course of their destiny. We live and we dream. We dream and we live. We live life, but we dream of things out of this life. When we are young and bursting with freshness, dreams explode with all their force within us and as we contemplate them, we get pumped up with renewed energy and a sense of wanting to fulfil them all. Dreams are what keeps us convinced that we have a motive, a goal and an objective in life. We wake up at the crack of dawn and as the sun wakes up from its lethargia, our minds become active with hope and bursting with strength to face the challenges of the day. But what happens when platitude and boredom settle in like unwelcome guests?

BEAUTY

Beauty is truth, truth is beauty, I dare echo Keats's powerful words...A single red rose arching from wakefulness and painting the garden with it's red hues; a sunset sending shy rays of vermillion and orange into the sky and leaving traces of blue and violet as a reminder of its prowess; waves lapping into the ocean mild fury; winds caressing dead leaves and sending them into a twirling session as they are lifted gracefully off the ground, tossed radiantly into the air and then as they tentatively land on firm soil again; a song rehearsal where crescendos brush aside the tumult of bland life and from where a song of life is fashioned again, dug from the magic and brilliance of music. Life is beautiful...If only the joy it offers were not ephemeral...

PAIN

The tears come even though they have not invited. They cascade out of nowhere, creating riot and prick the eyes without the least warning...When pain bursts from the confines of the heart, when you cannot remember just how you lost it all, when rejection is at the end of the corridor and when you come to terms with the cruel realities of life, that's just when you realise that pian is a constant companion and that happiness is only a reminder that sadness and loss are a door away. That's why I prefer remaining a stranger to bouts of pleasure...


HOPE

But even through the confusing mazes and the hopelessness, there is a time of atonement and forgiveness. God is there to listen to our angst and our troubles. He watches over us and understands our woes only too well...That's why he sends His angels to dry those tears and bring a tentative smile to our lips Because life is meant for living and however down the pits we are, it is not over when the clock strikes our doom. For every broken heart, there is a friend who is there to heal the wonds; for every grim dawn, there is a nightingale singing brighter songs; for every missed opportunity, there is another sunrise which prepares to give even more good reasons to stay focused and seize the day; for each of our miserable yesterdays, there are a million more tomorrows hatching with bluer skies, rosier clouds and lovelier rainbows...

That is why we have to sport our best smile...Even when it seems like the tears will catch up with us any minute now...So SMILE:)